Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
