Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
