I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
