when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
