i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize