There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Let's get the cat blown out
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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