so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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