She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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