4 words: hood of his car
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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