Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
