I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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