He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
