walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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