too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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