We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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