I CAN MOONWALK!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
