Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every concussion has its silver lining
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.