I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
