Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
