Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
