I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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