I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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