Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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