Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
