best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
