he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I need to stop coming to work sober
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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