he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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