I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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