elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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