who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
