I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
