Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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