would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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