Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
