It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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