Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
