I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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