My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
