4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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