I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
