He told me they were just razor bumps!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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