I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
