shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
