i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So many bounce houses so little time
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
