Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
