Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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