So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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