Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
