I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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