guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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