If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
