I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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