Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
