i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize