Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
