You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
