I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize