Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
