wakey wakey hands off snakey
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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