i want to swaddle you in tequila
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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