I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
