she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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