Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you would pick up someone in the library
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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