so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
