I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
