I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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