the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
