sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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