i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
